I’ve come to know about myself, that My need of lots of alonetime, and introverted moments just looking at the blue sky watching all the clouds move turtle slow while I’m present in whatever thoughts I’m choosing to engage with. Is vital for my happiness and connection to myself. Up until this point of time at least.
And as a part of a family unit, with a baby toodler exploring every inch of her little magical world. The introverted alonetime is such a rare thing.
I’m honestly still learning how I do this. Keeping myself connected and happy while Using my every minute and every drop of energy in keeping the daily life of our new little family together. Cooking all meals, cleaning after it, feeding, walking baby to sleep, changing diapers, having company in all my bathroom visits while trying to safe the toilet role from being ripped into a million pieces and spread all over the floor, by tiny cute hands. I’ve reached the end of year 1 almost as Bella turns 1 this Saturday, and I know the first year is said to be the hardest.
As mothers day is coming up soon, I feel the deepest respect for all parents out there. It is not the mothering of my baby I find hard, that part I find magical, so natural and easy. It is the never ending practical work that comes along with it as being the mama of the family.
I feel a new way of being a family is coming out in the horizon. We can not possibly keep on doing it this modern way stretching ourself thin with no help from anyone, while crying through the dishwasher or second or third vacuum cleaning a day.
We need happy thriving mamas, and my heart whispers the question that I almost don’t dare to speak out loud, – if there is really any truly happy mama out there?
Or just numbed out feeling a happy moment while getting a chance to breath once in a while After crying out of despair to the girlfriends and fellow mamas that understand.
Never in my life have had a harder job than this. Heart expanded with all love possible for my baby.
Postpartum depression or just real honest share of an insight task everyone is overwhelmed by ?